Some time ago Tamsin and 3000 other people of the female persuasion took part in the 2nd annual Del Mar 5k run a little north of where we live. As a fan of amateur athletics, not even the the 7.30 am Sunday morning start could keep me away. I was promised that there would be free coffee and food there, but this was not true. All I could get was some horrid coffee/tea/rooibos/acai drink. So I sat in the grandstand with my warmed up antelope poo drink and listened to some creepy guy ask us to applaud the ladies as they crossed the finish line because they were all beautiful.
The girl who won was 12 and it wasn't even close. It was a little bit difficult to keep track, but by my count Tamsin finished in 976th place. Of course, being America everyone was a winner and got a medal. Sadly this was the last time the event will be held as I filed a lawsuit against the organisers for refusing my entry purely based on the fact that I am not female which I'm sure everyone will agree is a gross violation of my Constitutional rights. Sadly, even in liberal California sexism still runs rampant. Perhaps through my struggle against gender-based discrimination will become a thing of the past. A lot of people say I'm a hero for standing up against The Man like this, but just because I'm a heroic guy doing a heroic thing in a heroic way, that doesn't make me a hero.
The girl who won was 12 and it wasn't even close. It was a little bit difficult to keep track, but by my count Tamsin finished in 976th place. Of course, being America everyone was a winner and got a medal. Sadly this was the last time the event will be held as I filed a lawsuit against the organisers for refusing my entry purely based on the fact that I am not female which I'm sure everyone will agree is a gross violation of my Constitutional rights. Sadly, even in liberal California sexism still runs rampant. Perhaps through my struggle against gender-based discrimination will become a thing of the past. A lot of people say I'm a hero for standing up against The Man like this, but just because I'm a heroic guy doing a heroic thing in a heroic way, that doesn't make me a hero.
Tamsin with her Pewter medal
Tamsin with some friends who also won Pewter medals
Three weekends back we returned to the Del Mar racetrack and fairgrounds to take in the sights, sounds and aromas of the San Diego County Fair. It runs for three weeks and is the fifth biggest fair in either San Diego or America. I got free tickets from my work so we thought we would check it out, although we didn't know before we went that the Coalition of Hyperobese Mexican Women were holding their annual convention in the same place. When we arrived I was slightly confused as there was no shearing competition in the near vicinity which was a staple of my childhood trips to the Ellesmere A&P Show. If I wasn't going be forced to watch shearing for an hour before being allowed to eat candy floss and realise I was too scared to go on the ghost train, how was I going to spend my time? Everything I thought I knew about the fairs was wrong. I wandered about in a daze for what seemed like a week until I stumbled upon some pig races which calmed me down. Some of the other interesting things we saw were elephant rides, camel milking and some a dirty Gypo doing a blacksmith display.
There were a whole bunch of sideshows that were staffed mainly by college students instead of Carnies, which didn't really help the atmosphere. I'll take my Ring-Toss attendant with a creepy neck beard and only one eye thank you very much, just like in the good old days. They were also having Music Mania at the Fair, where every night one of your favorite Mexican band/Country singer/American Idol castoffs was playing. We knew these shows would have been sold out months in advance so there was no point even trying to get tickets. People were writing notes to Michael Jackson (or his ghost I guess) but I refrained because my rule is you need to have 10 number 1 albums per child interfered with to stay out of my bad books and unfortunately MJ doesn't meet that stringent requirement. I'm a real stickler on that point.
The most interesting thing about the whole fair was undoubtedly the food. I started out with a barbecue turkey leg that was so unnaturally huge and pumped full of hormones that after eating it I immediately started ovulating. One place sold burgers by the half pound, up to 3 pounds. Pretty much every thing that wasn't barbecued was deep-fried. One place had deep-fried avocados, deep-fried Oreos, deep-fried burgers, deep-fried zucchini weenies (hotdogs inside a zuchini and batter) and deep-fried frogs legs. I asked the guy if there was anything they wouldn't deep-fry and he said "probably not" so I asked him if they would deep fry a human limb and he just laughed. I decided it wouldn't prudent to push the point so the hobo remains in our freezer. In the end I settled on chicken and waffles for dinner, which comprised 3 waffles and half a chicken which I thought was a little on the stingy side.
There were a whole bunch of sideshows that were staffed mainly by college students instead of Carnies, which didn't really help the atmosphere. I'll take my Ring-Toss attendant with a creepy neck beard and only one eye thank you very much, just like in the good old days. They were also having Music Mania at the Fair, where every night one of your favorite Mexican band/Country singer/American Idol castoffs was playing. We knew these shows would have been sold out months in advance so there was no point even trying to get tickets. People were writing notes to Michael Jackson (or his ghost I guess) but I refrained because my rule is you need to have 10 number 1 albums per child interfered with to stay out of my bad books and unfortunately MJ doesn't meet that stringent requirement. I'm a real stickler on that point.
The most interesting thing about the whole fair was undoubtedly the food. I started out with a barbecue turkey leg that was so unnaturally huge and pumped full of hormones that after eating it I immediately started ovulating. One place sold burgers by the half pound, up to 3 pounds. Pretty much every thing that wasn't barbecued was deep-fried. One place had deep-fried avocados, deep-fried Oreos, deep-fried burgers, deep-fried zucchini weenies (hotdogs inside a zuchini and batter) and deep-fried frogs legs. I asked the guy if there was anything they wouldn't deep-fry and he said "probably not" so I asked him if they would deep fry a human limb and he just laughed. I decided it wouldn't prudent to push the point so the hobo remains in our freezer. In the end I settled on chicken and waffles for dinner, which comprised 3 waffles and half a chicken which I thought was a little on the stingy side.
Two weeks ago was July 4th weekend and after San Diego's poor attempt at fireworks last year we abandoned the city for San Francisco. We got there early on the Friday morning and checked into the Hilton. After finding out that the Alcatraz ferry was booked out for the weekend we decided to take a cable car to Fisherman's Wharf. We had a wander about the area, visited one of the world's top 10 chocolate makers, saw the world's crookedest street and climbed Telegraph Hill to see Coit Tower. We went back and lined up for the cable car again and a limo driver came up and told us he'd take us back to town for the same cost as the cable car so we and 7 other people took him up on the offer. The Hilton, Limo rides, that's how big time scientists like us roll. We spent the evening in an Irish Pub with duelling pianos which was entertaining but eventually devolved into playing country music so we had to leave. The next day we took a tour out to wine country in Sonoma Valley. We went to four wineries over the course of the day and Tamsin got pretty wasted by the end of it. To sober her up we stopped at Muir Woods, which is a redwood forest, for a walk in the wilderness. Wilderness is a relative term because the whole place was paved and the only wildlife was the Squawking Asian Child. Still, the redwoods were very impressive and it was a nice change of scenery. We headed back in to San Francisco after a photo stop at the Golden Gate Bridge and had a massive meal of crab at Fisherman's Wharf and watched the fireworks which were adequate. We walked back to our hotel which took about 90 minutes and took us through some slightly dodgy areas but we emerged unscathed.
The next day we went to the De Young Museum in Golden Gate Park to see the Tutankhamen exhibition. The queues were massive but that was just for the common folk and as we had VIP passes we were able to bypass them all (by now you should be picking up on the fact that we're pretty heavy hitters over here). The exhibition was good, but was far too packed and full of people with toddlers for some reason. If you have to stop and breast feed in the middle of a museum exhibition, I'm going to go ahead and suggest that the kid probably isn't going to apprecieate it and maybe you shouldn't have gone. What was quite obvious was that very little is known about the life of Tut and he is more famous because of the condition of his tomb rather than being a great ruler. Still, even the mediocre kinds got treated quite nicely in the afterlife. After this we went to the Japanese Tea Gardens where I found a nice seat to sit in while Tamsin walked around and looked at whatever was there. Japanese stuff and tea I suppose. We next took a hike to the Filmore Street Jazz Festival via Alamo Square (famous for some Victorian houses). We spent a couple of hours listening to some music and watching a swing dancing competition before we headed back to the hotel and eventually back to San Diego after an incredibly painful flight.
We both really like San Francisco and wouldn't mind living there. Its a lot like Wellington, only less gay. Its got a good vibe to it and the climate, landscape and architecture are a lot like New Zealand.
The cable car pulled up and who was on it, but The Tanner Family, including Uncle Jessie and Uncle Joey! I haven't seen them since about 1992, so it was great to catch up with them. Joey's Pop-Eye impression still cracks me up. The next day we went to the De Young Museum in Golden Gate Park to see the Tutankhamen exhibition. The queues were massive but that was just for the common folk and as we had VIP passes we were able to bypass them all (by now you should be picking up on the fact that we're pretty heavy hitters over here). The exhibition was good, but was far too packed and full of people with toddlers for some reason. If you have to stop and breast feed in the middle of a museum exhibition, I'm going to go ahead and suggest that the kid probably isn't going to apprecieate it and maybe you shouldn't have gone. What was quite obvious was that very little is known about the life of Tut and he is more famous because of the condition of his tomb rather than being a great ruler. Still, even the mediocre kinds got treated quite nicely in the afterlife. After this we went to the Japanese Tea Gardens where I found a nice seat to sit in while Tamsin walked around and looked at whatever was there. Japanese stuff and tea I suppose. We next took a hike to the Filmore Street Jazz Festival via Alamo Square (famous for some Victorian houses). We spent a couple of hours listening to some music and watching a swing dancing competition before we headed back to the hotel and eventually back to San Diego after an incredibly painful flight.
We both really like San Francisco and wouldn't mind living there. Its a lot like Wellington, only less gay. Its got a good vibe to it and the climate, landscape and architecture are a lot like New Zealand.
The Transamerica Pyramid
Lombard Street, the world's most crooked street
Downtown from Telegraph Hill
Alcatraz Island
Statue of Columbus in front of Coit Tower. Shortly after he became the first European to set foot in America when he landed in San Francisco Bay in 1492, Columbus commissioned the building of the tower to boost the fledgling tourist industry and to store rainbow flags.
The headquarters of Levis
The Levis Plaza fountain, birthplace of stonewash denim in 1981.
Looking from Fisherman's Wharf out to Alcatraz. The Fisherman's Wharf area is all landfill where everything is built on the ruins of previous incarnations of the city (it has burnt down six times) that were bulldozed into the bay.
John F. King II had his drums stolen out of his car so he started playing rubbish drums, paint cans and dishracks and doing an awesome job of it.
Us in a limo
Northern Sonoma Valley
Redwood in Muir Woods
Through Golden Gate Bridge to downtown
It gets a bit embarrassing being married to someone in their twenties who still needs a bib.
Tamsin in the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park
Some fancy houses
The Painted Ladies or Postcard Row in Alamo Square. We had to wait a few minutes to get this photo because this lot wouldn't clear out:
It was nice to catch up with the Tanners and all, but they were really starting to get annoying by the end of the weekend.
Finally, a few of the professional photos from graduation
Tamsin in her graduation garb
Wind blows tie, hillarity ensues.
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As a younger man I roamed the high seas as the world's most spastic pirate.
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